More Grandparents Are Stepping In As Childcare Providers, But This Situation Can Be Tricky

The two most precious metals most often used in jewelry are silver and gold, but any parent would argue that their children are far more precious than any alloy. Ensuring the health and well-being of their child is at the forefront of most parents’ minds, but often, the costs of childcare can make families’ lives a real struggle. It’s not surprising, then, that more parents are ditching the nanny and even the daycare center and are relying on the people that raised them to help shoulder the burden of childcare.
All across the United States, more grandparents are taking on a significant role in caring or even rearing their grandchildren. Although one-third of young children receive care from a non-relative on a regular basis, many other kids are cared for by their kin. The reasons for this could be chalked up to a number of things, but it’s often because the cost of living — and of raising a child — has gone up. The U.S. Department of Agriculture’s breakdown of child-rearing costs shows that it now costs $13,290 a year to raise one child, which adds up to $233,610 just to ensure they get to college. When the USDA started tracking these expenses in 1960, it cost only $11,883 per year — still a significant amount, but it equates to an extra $31,000 by the time a child reaches the age of 18.
And what really breaks a family’s budget more than the costs of food or clothing is that of childcare. Most mothers stayed at home in 1960, so the costs of childcare then were quite low; they equated to only 2% of a household’s total income. But by 1995, childcare costs accounted for 9% of household incomes, or nearly $10,000 annually. And during the following two decades, those expenditures grew significantly. Childcare is now the third-largest household expense, accounting for 16% of the budget or nearly $38,040 throughout the child’s life. And while low-income families are more likely to rely on grandparents for care, it’s still a situation that can impact almost anyone regardless of socioeconomic class.
In the U.S., the number of custodial grandparents — those who take on the primary responsibility of raising their grandchildren — are on the rise. Nearly 2.9 million Americans can be considered custodial grandparents, with 67% of them being under the age of 60. But while many grandparents are all too glad to spend more time with their grandkids and help out their families during retirement, it’s important to note that these caregiving situations can take a toll. Whether they’re a stand-in for daycare or are the primary guardian, grandparents who take on this responsibility may experience significant physical and mental health issues as a result of the strain.
That’s why it’s important for parents to maintain a healthy relationship with the grandparents when these situations come into play. Before asking your or your spouse’s parents to take on a caregiver role, you must have an honest discussion about whether they’ll be paid for their services and whether you’ll be responsible for providing additional supplies your children need. Even if they refuse to accept monetary payment, you may be able to barter and pay them back with help around the house or the yard. You’ll also need to establish a set schedule, just like with any caregiver, and set boundaries and rules that your children need to follow. This can cut down on resentment and the “urge to spoil.” Be sure to keep the lines of communication open, check in on a regular basis, and put any terms in writing to put everyone’s minds at ease. And of course, it’s essential to make sure that the house and the vehicles are safe and that your children’s grandparents are mentally and physically able to care for them.
Some families may not find it easy to ask for help caring for their kids. But statistics show that this scenario is more common than ever. As long as you respect your parents’ commitment and don’t take advantage, this childcare setup may be a welcome option that will allow your children to bond with their grandparents and add some breathing room into your budget.