If you have recently gone through a divorce, you are not alone. Researchers have said that approximately 50% of all marriages do not last. If you’ve recently gone through a divorce, it can feel difficult to cope. Although you should seek professional mental health help if you are experiencing depression or anxiety, these self care tips can help you when it comes to coping and taking care of yourself after a divorce.
Try Something New
You are starting a new chapter of your life, and that means that you are going to be facing many changes. However, one thing you can control is how you spend your free time. Instead of wallowing on the couch, try out a new activity. If there’s a class that you’ve been dying to take, like one on pottery or a certain kind of cuisine, this is the perfect time to sign up.
Have a Spa Day
This may be a self care cliche, but there’s a reason for that — nothing makes you feel more pampered than a day at the spa. Choose treatments that will make you feel pampered and refreshed, like a facial, massage, or wax. If you’re getting a wax, you may experience some discomfort, but taking an over the counter pain reliever like aspirin or Tylenol half an hour to 45 minutes before your wax can help minimize it.
If you’re having a spa day at home, consider getting a foam roller in place of a massage, a face mask in place of a facial, and take a hot shower to mimic a wet sauna. Turn on some relaxing spa-like music as well to help change the tone of your home to one that’s more spa-like. Essential oils in relaxing scents like lavender and eucalyptus can also help to create a spa-like environment.
Take Time For Yourself
No matter what you love doing, the odds are that you aren’t taking enough time for yourself to enjoy it. If you love reading, make time to sit down and read the book that’s been sitting on your shelf for weeks (or even months — we’ve all been there). If you’re a fan of a certain sport, take time to catch up on the news related to it. If you love photography, set aside time to create a photoshoot and edit the photos. But, spending time alone isn’t always about picking up a new hobby or working on your passion projects. Time alone is also an opportunity for self-reflection. One way to do this is by starting a journal for mindfulness and gratitude. It’s a great activity to include in your daily routine and helps with your mental health as well. Making sure to spend quality time with yourself is a very helpful form of self care following a divorce. You have time to rediscover who you are alone, so you should try to take advantage of that.
Eat Good Food
There is no such thing as “good” food or “bad” food, but there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Part of self care after a divorce is taking care of your body. Although it may be tempting to binge eat ice cream, pasta, and wine after your divorce, make sure that you are only eating these foods in moderation. If you have a day that is just downright awful, having a nice glass of wine with dinner is not a bad thing, but if you’re drinking every night, you aren’t treating your body well. Make sure to eat everything in moderation.
Consider going out to eat alone as a way to take yourself of a date. For example, if you want to go to a bakery and get breakfast, consider sitting alone and enjoying your coffee and baked goods. Bakery products comprise over 2% of the GDP in the U.S., which means there are no shortages of bakery goods out there.
Exercise
Moving your body is an important part of taking care of yourself after a divorce. You don’t have to sign up for a marathon or suddenly start going to the gym seven days a week, but doing something to get moving is a great form of self care. You can do something as simple as taking a 20-30 minute walk every day. Not only is exercise good for your body, but it makes you feel good since it releases mood-boosting endorphins.
Sleep Enough
Getting an adequate amount of rest is very important. Without enough sleep, your body can’t operate in its optimal state. You should aim to get somewhere around eight hours of sleep every night. If you find that you’re sleeping too much or too little, make sure to talk with your doctor about options to help you.
Find Your Support People
Finding your support system is one of the most rewarding parts of going through any sort of breakup or divorce. Look for the people in your life who are happy to be supporting you, whether it’s friends, family members, coworkers, or anyone else who is in your life. Make sure to spend quality time with the people who care about you — it can make you feel better, which is at the heart of self care.
Be Gentle With Yourself
It’s easy to be hard on yourself when you’re in a difficult situation, so it’s important to remind yourself to be gentle. When you start talking negatively to yourself, think about how you would talk to a friend who was in your situation. Would you say the things to them that you’re saying to yourself? The odds are that you wouldn’t, so keep that in mind when you’re starting to get down on yourself.
Getting divorced is undoubtedly a difficult time. Remember that you are a strong, capable person who can get through any hardship that you’re facing. If you take time to treat yourself right and process your feelings, you’ll be able to recover and move on from your divorce. It’s important to be gentle with yourself no matter how long it takes for you to move on.
Great post. Thanks for sharing!